Melissa

July 17

"Melissa was an amazing mother, wife, and person. She was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in December 2017. She was pregnant with Sydney at the time and planning a move to Minneapolis to build a life with her husband Joe and older daughter Aria. While gracefully balancing a new city, new home, pregnancy and a new job for Joe, she battled breast cancer with numerous rounds of chemotherapy, multiple surgeries and courses of radiation. Sydney was born healthy on June 13, 2018.

Ultimately, her disease progressed and she passed away at home on July 17, 2019. She was 32 years old. Her legacy is her children who are now 2 and 1 year old. Prior to her passing, she requested that any donations in her memory to be split between her childrens' college funds (529's), which were recently established."

When I saw this on Facebook, I couldn't believe it. I didn't know Melissa well, but I'd had a class or 2 with her in high school, and she was the nicest. Friendly, sweet, caring, quiet, smart, and real and natural. She never got in trouble, stayed out of the drama, and always stayed true to herself. She wore simple clothes and hardly wore any makeup. You could tell that she was comfortable with herself and didn't feel the need to get attention from others.
It's hard to see that she died so young, leaving 2 very young children behind. 
Through some digging, I also discovered that her husband was a urologist. And now I feel even more connected to her. We, doctor wives, stick together, because no one else understand the loneliness, the quiet nights at home, the feeling of raising kids alone. I feel like we could have been really good friends if we had gone through this process together, in the same city. I hope that she had a good support system during her sickness. I hope that her husband's program director understood the situation and allowed him to spend time with her and their children. I hope that she felt loved and cared for in her last months, days, hours, minutes.
That very day, I finally scheduled a mammogram. I'd been putting it off, but considering my family history (Meme had breast cancer, Bonne-Maman had cancer that was caught so late that we don't even know where it started, and Marraine has had it 3 times).
The very next week, I went in for my appointment. I was definitely nervous, but Alexis was a good distraction. She couldn't go into the room with me, but the front desk girls took very good care of her. She didn't even cry, which surprised me so much. I had been told so many times that it hurts really bad to have your breasts squished like pancakes, but I guess the perk in having small breasts is that it didn't hurt at all. 20 minutes later, they told me that the results were normal.
But the next day, my OB/GYN said that the radiologist had recommended that I see a cardiologist. After talking to William, and getting a second opinion from Paul, I decided that I didn't need to see a cardiologist. I'm young, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with my heart.
Back to Marraine... at the beginning of August, she went for her annual mammogram. She's had mammograms and biopsies every year for over a decade, again, because of the family history. I guess that the last time they told her there was a little something there, but that it probably was nothing. Well, this time, this little something was bigger- stage 2, actually. Marraine won't have to go through chemotherapy, but she will need to have that breast removed and do radiation. I was surprised that she didn't opt to have both breasts removed, to decrease the chances of the cancer coming back. I expressed that to Marine, and since then, it sounds like she may actually have both breasts removed. One operation, one recovery. Less worry.
Speaking of breasts. I've been looking into getting breast augmentation. It's something I've wanted to do for over 20 years. I've finally put enough money aside to have the surgery. Now I just have to find the perfect plastic surgeon, have a consultation, and schedule the surgery. I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited.