Update on Kendall

Kendall is ONE WEEK old today! It's crazy to think that she's already one week, and we still haven't brought her home or introduced her to anyone, including her older brothers. But she's had a rough start, and we need her to be stable before we bring her home or see visitors.
These are the things she's had to deal with since her birth:

• placental abruption
• apnea
• hypovolemia
• APGAR 0 to 1
• was intubated and put on ventilator
• aspirated blood into her lungs
• needed surfactant because of immature lungs
• infection/sepsis
• low blood pressure
• heart failure
• cardiac arythmia
• SA node dysfunction, which caused bradycardia
• jaundice
• started to have multiorgan dysfunction
• was at risk for necrotizing enterocolitis
• right aortic arch
• sores in her armpits and groin

Kendall is doing much better now, and I think we'll be able to take her home sometime next week. I used to wish she'd just come home, but now I am realizing that I just want her to be stable. I want her to be healthy before we bring her into our home.
Today I got to breastfeed her for the first time, and it was such a tender moment between a mother and her daughter. She actually did pretty good. She got tired (or full) quickly, but I think she'll be the good eater I've been praying for.
I love having a daughter. She is so sweet, fragile, and innocent. It's crazy how much I love her already. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. My heart feels overwhelmed with love for her. Life doesn't get any better than this...

Mother's Day

I love Mother's Day! Billy totally went out of his way to make this day perfect for me. He got up early to make me breakfast (chocolate croissant, an orange, and strawberries) and brought it to bed for me. Then Taylor brought me a homemade card that Billy had helped him and Logan to make. It was so cute, with the sweet note and colorful scribbles.

A friend of mine wrote this a little while ago, and I thought I'd include it in my blog:
1. A mess is not the end of the world. A spilled drink can be cleaned up, stains will fade, stuff is replaceable, books will eventually end up back on their shelves, and people who unexpectedly stop by your house usually know they are doing so at their own risk. A mess is just a mess.
2. Toddlers have energy. Just go with it. No matter how often or persistently you try to get them to be quiet, settle down, hold still, or stay close; they’ll do what they want. And what they want usually has nothing to do with suppressing their natural energy and desire to get downright crazy. Let them be who they are and, when at all possible, let it all go and get crazy with them!

3. There are fail-proof solutions to un-bore a bored toddler. A pile of neatly folded laundry, bubbles, a sandbox, anything valuable in your purse. Find them. Use them.

4. Schedules get hectic. Responsibilities pile up. Priorities weigh down your day. But they only seem important in that moment. Don’t be afraid to let the busy life pass you by. Instead, hold your baby. Teach her something new. Snuggle. Forget about the pressures of the outside world and think instead of the joy you feel when you are simply “Mommy”.

5. Anytime is bath time. There are no limits to how many baths a child can take in a day. If it makes them happy, fill up that tub!

6. Explore the world with your baby. You’ll be amazed what she can show you that you haven’t been willing to see through your own eyes.

7. Relationships will be built throughout your child’s life. Start building strong relationships early. Let her think the world of her grandparents and spend as much time with them as possible. Help her make little toddler friends. Let her get to know every aunt and uncle and cousin she has. They will always be her family.

8. You never stop setting an example. Baby see, baby do. Baby hear, baby say. Watch yourself. Don’t only try to not do things that you don’t want them to do, but make sure to do the good things as well. Say please and thank you. Be nice. Be loving. It will melt your heart when you see your child be that kind of copy-cat.

9. Everything deserves praise. First steps, first song sung, first time sharing; of course you will praise them. But the other seemingly tiny accomplishments deserve cheer and commendation as well. Even if it is just stepping away from the toilet and handing the cell phone back to daddy.

10. There are days when you feel like a failure. When you know you haven’t tried your best to be a good mom. And even when you have tried, you still haven’t done much right. Those are the hardest days. But there is one person who doesn’t know it. Your child has the most unique and unconditional kind of love for you. She doesn’t know your weaknesses from your strengths. She doesn’t know your bad days from good. She knows your face. She knows your touch. She knows your voice. She knows you are her mother. She forgives you for the moments when you just don’t have time to hold her, for the times you lose your cool, and for the days when you can’t seem to get out of your rut. At the end of the day, you are still her everything. In her eyes, the eyes that matter, you have done everything right.

I love being a mom. It is the hardest, but most rewarding, job in the world. I get paid in hugs and kisses daily, and I love it.



My birthday

Although this year I wasn't really excited about my birthday and being one year older, I did have a fantastic day, thanks to my wonderful husband and amazing children.

Kendall's health improved a lot that day. And I got to change a poopy diaper for the first time (on her). Normally, I wouldn't get excited about that, but I did that day.

She also started drinking my milk through a bottle. Before that she had my milk through a tube that was in her nose. I'm glad that tube is gone now.

The weather was beautiful, so we also got to play outside with Logan and Taylor. They love spending time outside, exploring and discovering everything around them.

That night, we went out to eat at Bang Bang, a mongolian buffet. It was nice not to have to cook dinner... although Billy's been doing a lot of that lately. He's actually a better cook than me, I think.

Being spoiled and receiving good news about Kendall made this day much truly perfect for me. Maybe being 26 isn't going to be too bad after all...

Introducing...

Kendall Marie

Born May 1st, 2011 at 2:21 p.m.

Weighing 4 lb. 10 oz. and measuring 17-3/4 in.

So here is the birth story. Saturday, April 30th, was a beautiful day, so Billy and I decided to take Logan and Taylor to the playground. We met their cousin Kai and aunt LeiLani there and had an awesome time. Then we came back home, had some lunch, and put the boys down for a nap. Within a few minutes, at about 1:00 p.m. I felt a drip in my pants, so I asked Billy how much fluid is normally lost when the water breaks. When he told me it was about a soda can, I brushed off the idea of my water breaking. I went into our room, change my underwear, and, literally the next minute, I felt another drip. This time, it was a lot more, and Billy saw it leaking through my underwear and dripping onto the carpet.
Billy "Did you just pee your pants?"
Me "I don't think so. I'm not doing anything, honey. I think my water might be breaking."
As calm as ever, Billy told me to get some pants on and get a few things ready while he got the boys ready because we needed to go to the hospital right away. As emotional as ever, I started crying, telling him that I was not ready to have the baby. But at that point, I knew that ready or not, we needed to make sure it really was my membrane that had ruptured. As we were driving to the hospital, I kept looking over to Billy, amazed by how calm and steady he looked. I guess there's a reason why he's the doctor and not me.
Once we got checked in, they took my history, got a sample, and came back to tell us that my membrane had in fact ruptured and they were going to take me to a delivery room. It was about 2:15 p.m. then, and it was still going to be a while because I was not dilated at all, so I told Billy to go home and put the boys back down for their nap, and I would call him when things had progressed.
At about 4:30 p.m., the doctor came in and told me that because the baby was measuring so small, she didn't want to stress her out my inducing labor. So she wanted to keep me overnight, see if I would go into labor on my own, and go from there. If I did go into labor, we would continue with our plan to do a VBAC. If nothing had progressed, then we would have to do a c-section. When I asked why we couldn't give my body more time to go into labor, she said that there would be more chances of infection because of my ruptured membrane.
I knew that night would be my last full one, so when they offered to give me a sleeping pill, I took it with pleasure. I was kind of uncomfortable, being hooked up to the monitor and all, but I did manage to sleep, even through some minor contractions.
That night, Logan and Taylor went to sleep like 2 little angels, which reassured me, since this was my first night apart from them and the first night I wasn't there for bedtime. But I knew Billy needed to be there with them. They needed him much more than I did at the moment.
By 7:00 a.m., the doctor was back to check up on me. The nurse had reported to her that I was dilated between 1 and 2 cm. She ordered to give me petocin, then hung out in the lounge until the time came, which she had to do, considering the plan was now to have a VBAC.
Billy came over with Logan and Taylor around 9:00 a.m. As soon as they had woken up, they had grabbed their shoes and hung out by the door, ready to come and see me. They managed not to destroy anything in the room, under Billy's supervision, since I was still hooked up to a bunch of stuff. I could tell that Logan was somewhat disturbed by all the tubes and machines, and he didn't really want to come up on the bed with me. Taylor didn't care very much and was okay hanging out right next to me, maybe because all that stuff was familiar to him from spending time in the NICU. While they were there, my contractions started getting stronger and more painful. At about 11:00 a.m., they started getting really painful and I was ready for an epidural. I was also dilated to about 4 cm at that point. By then, Logan and Taylor were both a little disturbed by my struggles not to scream out of pain. Half an hour later, the anesthesiologist, who did his residency at Ohio State, came in and gave me the goods. The first contraction after that was still really painful, the second was bearable, and when he asked me about the third, it took me a second to even realize I was having one. His job was done. After the epidural, life was goooooood. Billy and the boys hung out with me a little longer then went home to get some lunch and go to sleep.
By 1:00 p.m., I was 6 cm dilated, so we knew the baby would be making her arrival that afternoon. But I didn't exactly expect to be fully dilated only 45 minutes later. At 1:45 p.m., my nurse told me I should call Billy and get him to come to the hospital ASAP. When I talked to him, Logan and Taylor were napping, so that was perfect. Billy called Paul, who headed straight over, and Billy was on his way. I wasn't nervous about Billy missing the birth because I figured I still had the whole pushing part to get through. But my nurse seemed a little nervous, and she kept asking if Billy was on his way. By 2:10 p.m., he was right by my side, and she told me she was glad he made it because she didn't think it would take very long for the baby to come. At exactly 2:15 p.m., I started pushing. I pushed through 4 contractions, and with about 3 pushes per contraction, for a total of 12 pushes, she was here. She was born at exactly 2:21 p.m. Pushing for 6 minutes was more exhausting than I had expected, but I quickly forgot that part when I noticed that she wasn't moving. She was pink, which was a good thing, but she wasn't breathing. The nurses took her to their little station and started working on her. The cord had wrapped around her neck and my placenta had abrupted, so the first 6 minutes of her life were very stressful and hard on her. I was sad not to get to hold her, like I had expected, but I just wanted her to be well and healthy, whatever it took. On a good note, I didn't tear at all, so it looks like recovery will be a piece of cake, which I'll need in order to keep up with 3 little kiddos under the age of 2.
That night, Billy told me Logan and Taylor had a really hard time not having me home. He showed Logan a picture of me on his phone, and Logan started crying. He grabbed the phone and wouldn't let go of it for a long time. He kept crying and asking for me. Taylor dealt with his emotions in a different way - by being naughty. He started biting again, which he hadn't done in a while. I also talked with both of them on the phone and it was awesome. It was the first time I was on the other end of the phone with them, and when I talked, they responded, both of them. They kept saying, "Mommy" and "Mama." They totally knew it was me, and I loved it.
I decided that night would be my last one at the hospital, if the doctors were okay letting me go home the next day. I felt there was no point in staying if Kendall was in the NICU anyway. I felt it was more important for me to be home with Logan and Taylor. because they needed me there. I could always visit Kendall a few times a day.
As far as how Kendall is doing, I'll let Billy write a post about that when he gets the chance. He is much better than me at communicating what's going on with her medically.

Logan & Taylor are 21 months

This month, Logan and Taylor are 21 months, and I love it. Life is pretty good right now. Sure we deal with meltdowns and tantrums in public and in privacy, but the boys are learning and playing so much lately, and I can't imagine life getting any better with them.


This month, Logan's vocabulary increased even more. He can probably say an average of 40 words now. His favorite ones are "no" and "ice cream." But I also love the way his says "Chanchu" (Thank you) and "Goga" (Logan). I also love it when I ask him to bring something to Taylor, and he runs over to Taylor, saying "Tay-do" and handing over to him whatever it was I gave him. It is so sweet to watch. He loves to be outside and look at birds and bunnies. He also likes to collect "treasures" or what I like to call "trash." He actually gets mad now when I tell him it is time to leave or go home. Sometimes he even flops on the ground, and I have to pick him up. One of my favorite moments comes at nighttime, when Logan gives everybody a round of kisses before being put down into his crib. I hope he continues to do this for the next 16 years of his life. Yeah, right. This month, we got to visit the Easter Bunny at the mall. Logan wasn't afraid to sit on his lap or touch his ears, but he also was not happy to be there, and the pictures definitely showed his un-enthusiasm. When we saw the Easter Bunny again at the Easter Egg Hunt, Logan was fascinated by his tail. It was super cute to see him grabbing it and laughing his head off. We also got to go on 2 Easter Egg Hunts, and Logan quickly grabbed the concept of picking up as many eggs as he could before other kids got to them. He generally does that with food. He knows that if he doesn't pick up as much food as he can hold, someone else will eat that food, so he goes for it! It is common for him to steal food from Taylor, even if he has tons of food in front of him. It is the law of survival. He is so cute when he does it too. But he can be rough, too. He enjoys pinching and poking while saying "Owww!" because that's what I say when he does it. He is so funny!

This month, Taylor started vocalizing more. He is definitely a quiet boy, but every now and then, he just starts talking and talking and talking, and it is adorable. My favorite word of his right now is "Peez" (Please). He loves to be outside and yell at the birds and bunnies. When he sees them from our window, he waves at them while screaming "bu-bu" at the top of his lungs. Taylor is very cuddly. He loves to cuddle with stuffed animals and sometimes even with mommy and daddy. He occasionally kisses us when we ask, but mostly just does it when he feels like it. Taylor was not very enthusiastic about the Easter Bunny at the mall, but at least he didn't freak out. And when we saw the Easter Bunny again at the Easter Egg Hunt, Taylor was more interested in opening eggs than paying attention to a giant bunny. He was so excited to open up eggs and find treats in them that he didn't bother picking many. He loves to figure things out, and lately he has been loving opening and closing doors. Yep, he figured out how to turn the knobs. Not cool! This month, we quit seeing the feeding specialist. We really don't have any concerns about Taylor's diet anymore. We have figured out what he likes to eat and what he doesn't. Of course there are times when Taylor would rather starve himself than eat something he doesn't like or doesn't want to try, but we've learned to be okay with that. He actually started eating a few vegetables this month, including corn and tomatoes (although I guess tomatoes are a fruit). And he likes to chew on carrots, although he spits them out after a while. This month, Taylor has been accident-prone. Right now, he has a scrape on his forehead, thumb, and chin, and a black eye. The scrapes are from tripping on the cement and going down the slide, and the black eye is from pulling the pocker set onto himself. I think it's super cute that whenever he gets hurt, he comes over to me to kiss the booboo better. That kid is so active but so loving. I hope it lasts.

5th Anniversary

5 years ago, Billy and I got hitched. It's been awesome. We've done, seen, been through some amazing things and moments these past 5 years. In some ways, I can't believe we've been married that long, in other ways, I can't remember life without him.

Here are a few of those things and moments that stick to my mind:
- The day Billy almost lost my engagement ring
- Being married for Time and Eternity
- Snowmobiling and skiing together for the 1st time
- Going on 3 amazing cruises
- Moving to Des Moines, Iowa
- Finding out we were expecting twins
- The day Logan and Taylor were born
- Being reunited after spending 2 whole months apart
- Finding out we were expecting a little girl
- Walking into our house in Columbus, Ohio

And here are the top 5 things I love about my hubby:
- He is my best friend
- He is an amazing father
- He makes me want to be a better person
- He has all the qualities that reinforce my weaknesses
- He has the ability to separate his work life from his personal life

2006

2011

Easter traditions

We got into our Easter traditions a lot more this year than we did last year, when Logan and Taylor were only 9 months. It was fun to create memories and watch the boys have a blast around others kids.
Saturday morning, we went to the local elementary school for their yearly Easter Egg Hunt. Logan and Taylor immediately saw the eggs on the playground, and it was hard to contain them behind the starting line because they were both so anxious to get started.
After all the eggs were collected, Logan and Taylor went down the slides a few times. Logan would have stayed there all day, if we had let him. But Taylor was more intrigued by what was inside eggs.


We also got to see the Easter Bunny. And while some kids were afraid of this giant rabbit, Logan and Taylor showed no fear. Logan kept grabbing the Bunny's tail, while Taylor was still opening egg after egg.

Sunday morning, we gave the boys their Easter baskets. They were super excited to discover all the surprises hidden inside the eggs. Breakfast was not successful that morning - not with all the candy and chocolates that were everywhere. Church was not successful either - we had to take the boys out for most of the Sacrament meeting. By the time the Sacrament meeting was over, Billy and I were so exhausted to deal with meltdowns and tantrums that we decided to go home. Logan and Taylor fell asleep in no time.

We also decorated some eggs - some with markers and others with stickers. Taylor, especially, was really into it. He loves stickers.

Then Billy went out to the front yard to "hide" the eggs. A few minutes later the boys and I came out to find them and put them into our baskets.

That night, we had dinner at Kai's. Paul and LeiLani had planned a wonderful Easter dinner for all of us. And since it was a beautiful day, we also went to the playground by their apartment. It was a great way to celebrate Easter! I feel so blessed to have family so close by. Logan and Taylor love their cousin Kai so much. We will sure miss him next year.

Pregnancy Week 34

Week 34:
How I'm feeling: It would be so easy for me to totally freak out right now. Really. I've only got 6 weeks before Baby Girl joins our family. Don't get me wrong... I'm super excited to meet her... but we have a lot of changes coming up... and I don't feel ready for this one. I kind of hope she waits until her due date to come because that will give me more time to get ready to move and more one-on-two time with Logan and Taylor. They are at such a fun stage right now... I just don't want to miss a single minute of fun with them. Things are about to get really hectic for our family, so I want them to enjoy these last few weeks of normality as much as possible.

On a different note, my 34 weeks appointment was an interesting one. I totally expected to go in, get weighed, listen to the baby's heartbeat, get my belly measured, be asked if I have any questions, and leave. Total time spent at the doctor's office = 15 minutes. But no! When the doctor measured my belly, she said it was only 30 cm. Since babies are supposed to gain most of their weight toward the end of pregnancy, this worried her. She suggested I get a nonstress test and ultrasound done that day. The nonstress test showed that the baby's heartbeat was normal, and I didn't get any contractions in the 20 minutes that I was hooked up to the machine. The ultrasound, however, showed that the baby was really small, barely over 3 lbs. But everything else was normal, including the fluids. When the doctor came in, she said that there was a possibility I would always have small babies. But because she can't assume that is the case, she wants me to get nonstress tests and ultrasounds every week until I deliver. If the baby gets stressed during a nonstress test or the fluids get really low at an ultrasound, then we'll have to go to the hospital and deliver. If everything continues to be normal, then we'll just wait until I go into labor. When I do go into labor, though, I have to go straight to the hospital. No labor at home. No waiting at home.

We got the house!!!

After less than 48 hours of phone calls back and forth to negotiate a good deal, we got the house that we wanted. When Billy and I first walked into this house, he told me, "So, I actually saw this one last weekend, and I could totally see us living in it. It's the best one I've seen so far, and is definitely my #1 choice. But don't let that influence you..." I didn't. But I, too, fell in love with the house. It was built in 2008, is over 1,900 sq. ft., has a nonfinished but full basement, 4 bedrooms, 2-1/2 bathrooms, and a yard and deck. It is everything we were looking for.

House search - part 2

This past weekend, Billy, Logan, Taylor, and I went to Columbus to find a house. Day 1: We made the 10-hour drive in 12 hours, arriving in Columbus at 1:30 a.m. Overall, the boys did well during the drive and went right back to sleep once we got to the hotel room. Day 2: We looked at 2 brand new houses in the morning and approximately 15 older houses in the afternoon. We were lucky the boys fell asleep in the car and got through houses faster by taking turns going in. Occasionally the houses just weren't what we were looking for and only one of us actually went in. Toward the end the boys woke up and we started taking them inside with us. Day 3: We looked at 4 brand new houses built by Dominion in the morning and 6 brand new houses built by MI in the afternoon. Once again the boys fell asleep in the car for part of the visits and we repeated our routine from the previous day. Later that day we went back to look at the 5 houses and an additional 2 that we were interested in. Day 4: We looked at another 10 or so houses and reaffirmed our choices 1-5. Then while the boys were napping, yet again, in the car, Billy went into our realtor's office to sign some papers and make an offer on our first choice house. Day 5: We made the 10-hour drive home in 11 hours, arriving in Des Moines around 7:30 p.m., which gave Logan and Taylor some much needed time to play and walk around the apartment before going to sleep. The drive back did not go as smoothly as the drive to Columbus, but hey, I was just as sick of being in the car as the boys were, so I completely understood Logan's meltdown in the last hour. The last 5 days were very long, which made me very thankful for Billy's trip to Columbus the previous weekend. It definitely narrowed down our search and made it more effective by letting our realtor know exactly what we were looking for. We were very happy with the houses we saw and could see ourselves living in at least 5 of them. Note on Taylor: He wiggles A LOT in bed! That kid moves non-stop for 10 minutes before he finds a good spot! Then after 30 minutes, it starts all over! Needless to say, Billy and I did not sleep well for 4 nights! One of the nights, Billy and I were discussing our choices while Logan and Taylor were getting ready to fall asleep, when Taylor rolled over toward Billy and gently put his finger over his mouth, then he turned over to me and gently put his finger over my mouth. It was the cutest (and funniest) way to tell us to be quiet.