After Taylor was "diagnosed" (not by a doctor) with "anxiety" (or whatever), I signed him up for a Sports Summer Camp. I figured it would push him a little outside of his comfort zone and force him to interact with others. I didn't sign up Logan for this because I wanted Taylor to get used to not always having his brother around. Tough love, I know.
I had been talking to him about the camp for weeks, doing my best to get him excited about trying out new sports and making new friends, but when we got there he stayed right next to me. I encouraged him to get out there and get the ball. But when someone threw the ball at him, he missed a couple of times, and I think he lost all confidence in himself and his abilities to play sports, or basketball.
Eventually, I had to leave, but I did so with heavy feet. My heart was breaking for him. He clearly didn't want to be there. He clearly didn't want to play with a bunch of strangers. And he clearly didn't want to be alone. As soon as I sat in the van, I started sobbing. Is tough love really the way to go? After 5 days of camp, I'm not so sure. I don't think this experience taught him to get out of his comfort zone or interact with others. Sure, he learned a little more about soccer basketball, flag football, baseball, and Olympic sports, but he came out the same way he went in-- alone.
It breaks my heart because I often felt lonely as a child. I wanted to play with others, but I didn't want to impose myself on them. And I think Taylor feels the same. Sure, I turned out alright and grew out of it (to a certain extent), but I also have many regrets (things I wish I had done). I don't want Taylor to have regrets, to grow up and look back on his past, wishing he had done things differently, and tried to do these things he so desperately wanted to do.
Ahhh, this parenting-thing... I'm still learning as I go... Taylor's favorite sport was soccer, by the way. And he got a super cool metal, for soccer.
1 comment:
I think it's a good idea (esp without Logan). Keep looking into things like that, with his interests (if it's sports, music, a language class, etc). I was very much like you and Taylor and never wanted to leave my mom's side. I hated meeting new people and was extremely shy. Sometimes I wish my mom pushed me more. Could you find one of his friends to sign up with him?(a friend who's a little more outgoing who would help him?) It helped me to do dance having my BF with me in the classes.
Not everyone can be super social and he will grow up and be just fine. You're doing great. Just like babies and kids learn every day, we as parents keep learning as well. I don't think it'll ever stop.
xoxoxo
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