Rambles on motherhood

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Let's start with a few quotes...

• "Your children will become what you are, so be what you want them to be." Who would have thought this would be so hard? I mean, I want my kids to be a lot of things - patient, ambitious - and have a lot of things - confidence, the ability to deal well with stress. And yet, these are things that I struggle with every day.
• "Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing, even when you're not sure what the right thing is... and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong." I have to remind myself every day that, as hard as this is, I chose to be a mom. This is something I've always wanted to be and something that many women can only wish to some day become. And it's okay that I'm not perfect. My children don't expect me to be perfect. The Lord doesn't expect me to be perfect. All I can do is forgive myself, learn from my mistakes, and be the best mom that I can be.
• "Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, and happy kids." This one makes me laugh. I wish it were true... but let's be honest here... we'd have ants everywhere, my kids would be eating junk all day, and they would be wearing dirty clothes (or no clothes) in public. I would love to be fun mom all day and every day, but I have to be functional mom to teach my kids to be clean and organized. I think it's okay if I let my kids watch Alvin and the Chipmunks while I fold some laundry. It means that instead of looking for some clean shirts later, I can go outside with them to draw on the sidewalk.
• "Before you know it your children will be grown...childhood goes by so quickly...cherish it!" I try really hard to cherish it, I really do. Some days I am really good at cherishing it. And other days I am not. Sometimes the days seem sooooo long, but the years never cease to fly by. So how can I cherish my kids' childhood? 1) Find ways to be grateful each day 2) realize that my joys during this stage of life come in moments, and 3) worry about being the best mom that I can be to my children, and not worry about what everyone else wants me to be.

Some spiritual thoughts...

• I loved Elder Wilson's talk this past April General Conference about compelling our children vs gently persuading them. I have been working on letting my kids make their own choices and practice their agency. It's not always easy, especially when I know their choices will result in more work for me. But I know it will prepare them for the future and will result in more independency and responsibility. And that's what I want my children to be - independent and responsible.
• I also loved a talk by President Uchtdorf at the October Relief Society Conference. He focused on 5 forget-me-nots for our lives as women in the church. Here is what I was able to gather from his talk: 1) Be patient with yourself. Be as compassionate and forgiving with yourself as you are with others. He also reminded us that it is part of our mortal experience to have weaknesses, and that those weaknesses can one day become our strengths. Instead of worrying about having the perfect Family Home Evening every week, instead ask yourself "What simple things could we do as a family tonight that would bring us closer together and give us a spiritual experience?" 2) Remember the difference between a good sacrifice and a not-so-good sacrifice. Are you committing your time and energy to the things that matter most? 3) Be happy now. He gave a great analogy of the golden ticket in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. I loved everything about it. If we spend all of our time pining over and searching for a golden ticket, we can forget to enjoy the chocolate bar. While there is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings, we must also try to capture the beauty and joy in everyday moments. 4) Don't forget the why of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Try not to see it as a list of tasks to fit into our busy schedules. The Gospel is not an obligation, it is a pathway. Don't walk the path of discipleship with your eyes on the ground. The what and how of obedience in the Gospel of Jesus Christ keeps us on the right path, but the why is what sanctifies us. Think about why the Lord asks you to follow His commandments. 5) Don't forget that the Lord loves you. God loves you - you are His child. You are destined for more than you can possibly imagine. Even though my life will never be easy, and I am certain there are many hard days ahead, I know that these forget-me-nots can help me to have the perspective and peace that I need.

Some other thoughts...

• While I admire working moms and their ability to juggle working life and family life, I am so grateful to be a stay-at-home mom. And let's not forget that motherhood is a 24/7 job.
• Am I the only mom to secretly overjoy upon seeing another child throw a tantrum in public ("My kid would never throw a tantrum like that!") or gag while reading a post about how motherhood is bliss ("She's totally lying right now!")?
• All children have special shining characteristics, and as parents, one of our responsibilities is to help our children develop them. I look forward to discovering the talents of each of my kids. And I hope that I will be able to focus a little more on the best, most special parts, and a little less on the areas where I think they need improvement.
• Sometimes feel like a circus act when I take all 3 kids out by myself, which is every day. Logical-me likes to think that no one is really gawking at me like it appears, they are all too worried about their own lives and their own problems. But self-conscientious-me is certain that they really are staring and thinking all sorts of things about how "I've got my hands full" and I must be crazy to have 3 kids all so close in age.

In the rush of getting to church, I missed getting a picture with my handsome boys






But I must say, Kendall was looking fabulous!






This counts, right?